Trying to be Tough

Okay,the thing that sucks about being the boss is that sometimes it actually entails being the boss. I am one of those bosses who tries to be best friends with everyone, listens to their problems, and tries to work with their schedules endlessly. Unfortunately, that can make for a bad boss in some cases. I started out the day with a horrid fight with one of my employees. I won't go into specifics, but it happened because in the past I have always been the good guy. I am always the one to come in on my days off, and always the one to bend for everyone else. I have to admit I didn't handle things in the best way. I snapped and I never do that. I don't want to blog much about my work, but I needed to get the anxiety of that snap off my shoulders. I want to learn how to be a tough boss, without being the snappy, bitchy kind. I'm not doing such a good job of straddling the fence right now. Learning to be tough in both my professional and private life is something that I need to learn in order to be the new me.

So in honor of searching for who this new me is, the tougher, more confident one, I stepped out of my comfort zone today. I went to a matchmaker for professionals. Okay, so I know most of you are thinking scam artist. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure it out. I went in with the best of intentions, of having an open mind and heart, but came out still a little skeptical. Maybe I am getting tougher because the old me wouldn't have questioned much. The matchmaking service was in a very nice office and a very well-groomed, sophisticated older woman met me at the door. We went through two hours of questions, a little pandering on her part, and a great deal of fake laughs. She was definitely one of those pearl-wearing ladies who lunch. I felt a little bit like I was being schmoozed without getting the great car deal at the end. She did have a lot of facts and figures and laid out her case quite well. In the end, I decided to go with the most conservative plan and meet some of the people she had in mind for me. She constantly mentioned how much better her service was then online dating. I don't know if this is true, but online dating hasn't done the trick for me yet, so I need to be open to other options.

Don't worry, I'm not going to become one of those women whose only goal in life is to get married. Believe me, I know there is more to life. I was once on the brink of marriage, and that was about the most miserable I have ever been in my life. I mainly want to meet people, and more of the right type of guys. As previously discussed, my taste runs toward the asshole type. I'm finding that I don't really have time to deal with his type anymore. He is handsome and has his benefits, but is overall a big fat waste of time.

So, I have rambled a bit today. To form a cohesive end, I will focus on what I have learned from today. Being tough can be, well frankly tough sometimes, and taking a leap into something new can be a little anxiety inducing. I am not sure what the future or the year 2011 holds, but I am determined to at least face it with a good attitude.